


Mark of Acceptance

by silasfinch



Series: Marks [2]
Category: Saving Hope (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Gen, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 20:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16646933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: A follow on to my soulmate piece - Relationship Navigation 101





	Mark of Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [0mniessence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/0mniessence/gifts).



> For 0mniessence who has by my calculation read every oneshot and every chapter I've ever written (and REVIEWED each) in the space of a week. About 90k of Lintz work.

 

I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me. Veronica Roth Alignment

A young outcast will often feel that there is something wrong with himself, but as he gets older, grows more confident in who he is, he will adapt, he will begin to feel that there is something wrong with everyone else. Criss Jami

 

**Maggie Lin is delighted with her soulmate.**

It's possible that she is the only one in her immediate and broader circle. Her twin is an exception they always are to each other, Declan's only comment is that the universe has good taste and he is dragging any future children out for some non-science fun.

"A Jewish Doctor?" queries her paternal grandmother with none of the delight that phrase usually envokes.

"She is your father incarnate," her mother says scornfully after she insists on reading about Dr Sydney Katz online, the words are bitter as if Maggie had a level of control over the outcome.

"Well she is suitably complex and high maintenance" Alex sounds almost exhausted when Maggie confesses 2 am after first meeting Sydney.

"I am a horrible choice for you" is the first Sydney says when Maggie tracks her down the following morning. They need to change her assignment structure in light of this latest development.

There seems to be an endless loop of opinions on this match for her and their ability to stand the test of time, especially for those who know the difficulty of her childhood.

It would be nieve to say that hers is the only opinion that matters, no matter what the textbooks and web seminars say on the topic. Long before they are soulmates, people are children, friends and students. Maggie, in particular, is wary of meeting her 'Sydney' - given the disaster that was their parents fated union. The marks happen in a broader context with all the complexity of the human race. Declan sits up with her on their joint birthday and watches with a mixture of sympathy and relief as the script appears on one twin's arm alone. Rosemary O'Neal - Lin is a profoundly supportive parent, but there are no celebrations when she shyly reveals the name. Maggie knows that her intended is just as likely to be male or female, given both the unisex name and her automatic placement on the Kinsey Scale.

The particulars are at once surprising and expected and despite what Sydney wants to believe Maggie respects her for them not in spite of them.

**1\. Conviction and Cracks**

Sydney's faith is a central part of her life even if the community of her birth no longer accepts her as an out lesbian. Almost by default, Maggie learns the Jewish calendar and what rituals are important to the senior doctor. There are strong Reformist communities in Toronto and people are willing to teach her openly, sympathetic to the dilemmas of an interfaith matching. The Rabbi comes from a family of doctors, and they strike up an easy conversation about the subject as Maggie calls on her bilingual nature to learn rudimentary Hebrew.

"You will not convert for me or please me. There are few things worth than pretend faith" Sydney is adamant on this point when she spies one of the reading lists.

"I am not planning on converting - I'm working on becoming a good soulmate for you. Faith is a cornerstone of your makeup and therefore a priority for me."

The other woman looks confused by the gesture as if few people have prioritised her needs before.

At time Sydney doubts nearly suffocate them both.

Neither of them is particularly good at emotional intimacy and struggle to connect when overcoming personal insecurities. Maggie feels helpless when Sydney hung up from yet another effort to try and connect with her family, the mark burning in sympathy. Sydney is solitary by nature and will often go days without contacting her soulmate outside the hospital setting. It is difficult not to be jealous and frustrated when everything she ever read about soulmates is useless; the $300 spent on books and consulling is a poor investment when they struggle to express even basic emotions. As two individuals devoted to science the intensity of the bond makes them both uncomfortable at times. The only memoir that resonates is that of an actuary and a tax accountant who find themselves contending with a mystical connection while working for rival firms.

"Soulmates are less of a mystical force, and more of a commercial exercise and an excuse for an entire branch of pop psychology and talk show" Sydney complains as they walk away from yet another counseller.

"Never underestimate man's ability to turn anything into a money making exercise, profit above all else" Maggie agrees with a shrug.

"Are we doing ok do you think?" Sydney whispers softly

"Probably not by conventional standards but conventional standards let to my parents destroying each other in a twisted love affair that did nobody any good. How we are doing things is fine by me" Maggie promises with an easy smile.

 

  
**2\. Courage and Cowardliness**

Sydney is proud to be seen with her.

Of course, the reality the bond between them remains inside the familiar setting of Hope Zion or the surrounding area. Most people they encounter do not summon the energy to notice much less comment. However, Maggie is still proud, fiercely so when her new soulmate corrects anyone who mistakes the nature of their relationship. Dr Katz has a deep attachment to the bracelet, so she still wears it, but the silver no longer serves its original purpose.

They are both inherently practical between and tend to sandwich time together at either side of their shifts; there are some advantages to doing shift work for a decade and courting a fellow doctor. Prime amongst them is that neither of them questions eating breakfast at 3 pm or a date turning into a playful argument about handwashing technique.

  
The slightest upset can provoke anxiety.

The first panic Maggie witnesses are genuinely heartbreaking and result in them spending hours in an on-call room; luckily soulmate problems are a recognisable thing and nobody questions the absence. Jackson even goes so far as rallying the troops to provide extra cover in the ER for a pregnancy call. There is a tacit understanding that new soulmates need time to learn each other, especially in times of crisis. Besides Syd build up enough leave that HR is practically writing the leave forms themselves.

Sydney is distraught when her mother refuses her offer to cook a birthday lunch for Becca. Its heartbreaking how small and fragile Syd looks huddling in the corner of the room crying silently.

"You are the embodiment of everything I could hope for, but they can't see past the single characteristic?"

Maggie curls up beside the other doctor - careful to keep some space between them as Syd often takes a while to lean into comfort.

"To be fair your family's expectations were exceedingly narrow, I could be Mark Lin, and they would still struggle. I'm only on the introduction to do the Torah. Besides your opinion is the only opinion that matters to me."

"Even when your friends have an array of less than flattering nicknames for me and my lack of social skills?"

In what is rapidly becoming a new habit Maggie traces the swirling lines of her soulmate tattoo - picking out the thick lines even in the dim lighting. There is comfort in the physical sign of their developing intimacy despite the roadblocks.

"I gave up censoring my choices long ago when I couldn't please either side of the equation, too progressive for some, a sticker for traditional to others This is a general policy but a firm rule when it comes to something as important as future relationships. Trust me to make my choices freely."

"You seem so confident it's easy to forget you are dealing with expectations as well."

"Incidentally you won't be hearing too many of those comments anymore. It turns out my award-winning debate skills are useful for more than besting my brother, from a technical perspective their arguments were less than persuasive."

"Junior doctors shouldn't get on the wrong side of lab technicians and nurses, Maggie. It's a bad career move."

"Nurses and lab technicians do not have time to speculate about other people's personal lives. Besides Jackson has my back which is far more effective anyway."

"Gossip is second only to oxygen in this place."

  
**3\. Complexity and Contradictions**

Maggie delights in the complexity of Sydney Katz as a person and as a soulmate. Whereas some would see the amount of work as a detriment and her mother complain about a loss of identity, Maggie loves the swordplay between them, even if others find this dynamic puzzling. Sydney isn't as complicated as she once thought when complaining to Alex - equally, Maggie isn't as so casual. Maybe the universe can see inner souls after all.

Sydney Katz has a typical surgeon's arrogance and belief that she can and should save Canada's at-risk infants, but much of her difficult personality is the result of deep seeded pain and rejection that stayed hidden for years long before the soulmark appeared.

Case and point they are going to a Jewish Soulmate meeting at the local reformist synagogue that reassures Sydney at least ten times that they welcome same-sex couples and will not treat Maggie any differently.

"You are going to be just fine, and I will be right there with you if anything goes wrong."

"Do I look alright in this?"

"As you did the last six, Syd and we need to hurry if we are going to meet with Owen and Frank beforehand" Maggie offers gently.

"Having you here makes my nights far less anxious - I sleep too."

Maggie struggles not to cry at the matter of fact tone hating the image of the bright yet fragile woman pacing the halls of her apartment, tormented by doubts. The comforts she offers are so minor but lacking for the first 20 odd years of Syd's life, since she started to think for herself.

 

Sydney is a far better lover than she believes.

She is still adapting to her new situation as both a lesbian and a soulmate. In Syd's misguided opinion there are also many people before her who were skilled and pleasing Maggie. It's not that she is jealous so much as there is the fear of forcing the taller doctor to settle for an unsatisfying situation. There is a tendency amongst people who leave sheltered groups to assume that secular people have an endless experience with sex and relationship. Just because the options were readily available didn't mean that Maggie can claim high numbers.

"I never expected to learn how to do this. My education in such matter consists of med school and counselling my cousins on sexual health because my aunts were embarrassed. You need to tell me what I'm doing wrong" Syd says as she works to untangle her fingers from Maggie's hair, caught at an awkward angle, causing the taller woman to yelp in pain.

"I promise you there is no grade to achieve with experience - there is no perfect formula, and I'm certainly not comparing you to anyone else so please stop expecting to fail" Maggie pleads back kissing a flushed cheek.

As often happens they end up tracing each other's marks - marvelling at the changes that develop, as each pattern around the name is unique to the individual with some similarities that distinguishes the pairing. The etchings for them almost represent trees with many branches that sweep up the arm. The contrast is stark on Sydney's plale skin, especially as she stopped wearing such long sleeves.

 

 

 

  
**4\. Calm and Crankiness**

Sydney is simultaneously a centre of calm and 'Israel Disposition' with the fierce temper. Its only with their developing relationship that Maggie understands how these two personality traits work together to form Syd's approach to life. A scientist with great personal faith is constantly defending one position against the other, calm and temper are crucial features. It does not help that surgery is often still a male-dominated profession with cardio and neuro often taking priority over fertility and fetal wellness when it comes to funding and prestige. Hence the many exam rooms that still use ankle holders and other outdated methods.

Maggie is rarely the target of such, but she is witness to many, especially when they involve Syd disagreeing publically with a hospital stance. She privately thinks Alex takes the opposite view to aggravate the fierce OBGYN. Dr Reed respects their relationship, but the general surgeon disagrees with the intensity of some of the positions Syd takes, especially on general care vs specialist interventions. Their personalities are similar in that way.

"How is developing the new NICU and PICU architecture a less priority than cardiothoracic ego trip?"

"Well Canada and Toronto, in general, have excellent infant mortality and wellness rates. An argument is that we need cardiothoracic updates more, given the obesity rates."

"Maternal mental health rates are dire."

"So are First Nation Suicide rates?"

"and you are both working tirelessly in each of those communties. There is no suffering Olympics, quit arguing for the sake of one-upmanship. Syd, we are doing an isolated community outreach next year. Alex, you donate to the Neonate Charities every year" Maggie mediates with a sigh.

 

  
**5\. Calamity and Calculation**

Somehow Sydney makes out Maggie's circadian rhythm before they even think about sleeping together again. The escalating intimacy feels profound and very different from the time with Gavin. 'Jewish Mothering' is a, but it fits the redhead perfectly, especially now that she no longer feels such pressure to conform to conservative standards. Half the nursing shifts receive random deliveries of baked goods and hand lotion anonymous. A struggling med student with a pronounced stutter receives personal coaching before he leaves the service. Maggie becomes her ultimate project, and the other woman doesn't mind that much.

There is a series of texts reminding her to perform basic tasks like eating and sleep or producing a schedule for household tasks like laundry and maintenance.

"She does know you have been a functional adult for an entire decade right?" the fiercely independent Alex queries disbelievingly after reading the latest offering.

"Not as functional as you might think because it doesn't bother me and it makes her remarkably happy to perform little tasks. 

  
**6\. Compassion and Callousness**

Obstetrics isn't for babies nor is it a profession for the tenderhearted. Maggie knows immediately that her successor on Syd's rotation isn't going to last. The woman adores children but cannot stomach the hard decisions or being yelled at by desperate parents. Maggie steps in to provide moral support when the problematic conversation has to occur. Dawn is in the room but its Sydney's responsibility as the staff member. Dr Bell may need to administrate as the doctor in question is from a wealthy family.

"You need to select another speciality, Dr O'Conner you aren't cut out for Obstetrics even after to repeated warnings. It's causing you and the patients' undue stress" Sydney begins firmly.

The doctor in question looks crestfallen but its hard to make the distinction given how unhealthy she appears generally. Her skin looks sallow, and her lab coat hangs off an already small frame, her glasses do not hide the haunted expression.

"I can do better, Dr Katz, Please! My sister lost three babies I want to help prevent such tragedies happening again" the girl is close to tears.

"Your lost isn't allowing you to remain objective in any way, its a vital skill in all medicine but particularly here" Sydney responses.

"Your precious soulmate barely keeps it together half the time" the retort is weak but effectively. The glare the student sends in Maggie's direction is telling.

"Dr O'Conner - we are trying to prevent further tragedy but losing a talented doctor to burnout or worse. Do not make this harder by attacking others" Dawn says sharply there is unwritten etiquette about not mentioning other peoples soulmates in disagreements.

 

 

**7\. Compulsive and Convoluted**

On paper, Sydney is a fair to middling girlfriend who struggles to divide her attention even for a soulmate. Alex certainly gets frustrated when she bails on Maggie with little or no warning or shying away from a casual kiss. Maggie thinks that those magazine checklists are a waste of time and is suspicious of how many times such times as 'measuring compatibility' end up in the breakroom.

It can be difficult competing with Syd's great passion for medicine and gently reminding her that not every dinner party wants to hear about surgery in graphic detail, in some cases talking about saving cute babies is the way to go, especially when said company is an influential Jewish philanthropic group made up of wives and girlfriends. Her soulmate will not rest until she has accounted for every possibility for a case or family who is sent for a consult. Previously this tendency was minimally disruptive to her life, given that there were few other people to consider. A matching mark changes expectations considerably.

"Come to bed Syd - the textbooks will be there in the morning."

"I'll be there in an hour or so - I just want to review the scans one more time."

"But I have the early shift this week and want to spend more than 7 1/2 consecutive minutes with you," Maggie replies gently.

Sydney looks up startled as if she has temporarily forgotten the piece of information or that she needs to work around others schedule as well. Maggie works hard not to place too many demands on the other woman, but she does need subtle reminding to function outside the world of medicine. Dutifully Sydney shuts down her computer and neatly stacks her files in rows. The meal and tea Maggie prepared hours ago remain untouched and cold, so they head to the kitchen to grab a midnight meal of Jewish savoury snacks.

"Thank you for everything," Sydney says in between taking giant mouthfuls.

"Thank you for listening and dragging yourself away from the fetal heart scans. We can run through the case after we finish if you like."

"I have a much better use for our time."

**8\. Careful and Caviler**

Sydney agonises over the dilemma of public affection. Their body language is contradictory, teasing and relaxing at different times.

Maggie doesn't push the issue, preferring to keep a pace that is comfortable for them both. However, a certain level of 'public bonding' is expected when meeting the Lins or going on double dates with Alex, if only to prevent the well-meaning concern about their suitability as partners. Syd replaces overt displays of affection with signs of tenderness and commitment like the time she lopped their fingers together for an entire 8-mile walk with her brother. Publicity is overrated when somebody is willing to attend every one of Rosemary's guest lectures and advise her grandmother on Arthritis and the medicinal benefits of kimchi.

However, there is no doubt when it comes to integrating her soulmate into her new synagogue and proclaiming their status to anyone who asks, never has the phrase 'My Maggie' sounded so good. There is certain defiance to her posture as if she expects a harsh retort, Syd spends far too much-expecting people to insult her no matter how many awards she collects.

**9\. Closed and Conscientious**

Arguing is a feature of their relationship.

There is no shortage of topics and tensions - Maggie is glad all her landlord is a gentle soul because some of their matches become loud. The redhead is one of few people who gets progressively more articulate as the disagreement continues. Some of her references are so obscure that her soulmate consults a dictionary she hasn't touched since medical school.

Rosemary mains that her daughter is as stubborn as all her ancestors put together, including the ones that defied convention to leave various homelands in search of a better life. The streak got her to Havard in the mix of emotional, and it gets her through fits of temper and spite with this stubborn woman.

Sydney works hard to make amends.

The OBGYN confesses that she went to elaborate and darkly comical lengths to avoid meeting her 'Maggie'. The impact on her family and religion is a big factor, but it wasn't the only consideration. Dr Sydney Katz is far from a natural communicator and finds articulating non-medical facts and personal information difficult. In Syd's eyes this was one of the few areas she could never excel at; therefore there was little point in risking the disruption to an orderly life.

Her way of communicating is through actions and deeds, be it demonstrating to students or reworking the budget that isn't adding up for the department assistant. Maggie slowly learns the language that the other woman is speaking from socks in her locker or new sneakers when the others collapse.

**10\. Comfortable and Confounding**

Sydney comes alive with patients.

It's not difficult to see why this field is both challenging and encouraging. Syd is at home when taking on the cases that other surgeons deem to difficult, being called a maverick isn't an insult, especially when the results back up her confidence. Maggie is present at enough examinations to see how patients light up when their doctor finds an unusual solution typically reserved for shows like Grey's Anatomy. The real test of skill of a specialist is when you deliver the news that there is no treatment or trial left to hope for, that the following weeks are going to be heartbreak in slow motion.

Her love is not a natural teacher.

Maggie earnt most of her rent and spending money in grad school by taking various tutoring jobs. It was a fun challenge getting people who didn't naturally understand a concept to view the problem in more unequivocal terms. Its one of the reasons she adapted to Syd's abrupt manner so well it was merely an extension of previous encounters. Besides to the best of Dr Lin's knowledge, none of the other students had the distinct advantage of swooning every time the redhead spoke.

"Why do they still make me do this? I get the same dismal numbers every year" Syd growls as she waves her teaching evaluations in the taller doctor's face.

"Your knowledge can't just live in your head and textbooks, Syd. You are terrific, but you can't perform every operation that needs the skillset. The speciality can't afford to lose the Katz approach" Maggie reasons softly before extracting the paper from tight fists.

"Trying to appeal to be notorious surgeon's ego, Lin?"

"Absolutely but let's go through some strategies to improve your scores."

"You just want the excuse to here my teach, don't you?"

"It's my favourite look on you, but that doesn't mean I can't offer valid feedback in between swooning over your glasses and use of 10 syllable words. I won awards for my teaching in the States and everything."

***

Their relationship is not progressing in the typical way of soulmates in the 21st century. Both Maggie and Sydney have enough reservations about relationship intensity to be strict about personal space. In many ways, they continue ignoring the marks and date as if they met in a coffee shop or a medical convention. Aside from anything each is devoted to their careers and do not have the time or resources for grand gestures and spontaneous holidays. This compatibility is the fact that few of Maggie's family or friends appreciate, Sydney's pace is just enough for her.

They are matches as well as mates.

 


End file.
